Why do some people enjoy being dominated?

I applied to serve a gay Master I chatted with online , and after my first session being used , I knew being dominated was something that REALLY turned me on , and after the 2nd session , I knew I wanted to be owned…. I realised this when I did things for the dom that weren’t my kinks , ie licking his feet & sucking his toes…..does nothing for me and wouldn’t do it unless ordered to - but I’d get rock hard doing bit because it pleased my Master soooooo much!! I found it an interesting paradigm , where not being touched at all , and spending the entire time doing to him exactly what he wanted , while being in various states of blindfolded, gagged, in a hood , always wearing my collar , restrained , spanked & whipped and pics videos taken of me being dominated , turned me on immensely , and I’d be hard many times for weeks afterwards , just recalling how I was used , and how proud I was to get compliments and praise for my service…..

A year later the couple visited , we were having an all nighter……hubby said to his sub wife “Get on your knees and suck my cock” ….It turned me on how she obeyed him - I’d never watched sub/dom porn , had never thought about it. Then hubby told her to suck my cock…. If not that night , very soon afterwards , I knew I wanted to explore submissive play with an alpha male

Pic below is one my Master sent me one day with message “One of my slaves (me) playing with my nipples before I cum in his mouth , again!”

Ive been pretending to be okay and acting as normal as possible, but Im actually completely heartbroken after a recent breakup. Its painful and really affecting me, to the point where I cant concentrate at work, Ive lost my appetite, I cant sleep, and It feels as if my whole world has been turned upside down. I loved him so much. He said so many cruel things to me and it made me realize he must not have loved me the way I loved him, or he wouldnt have said such horrible things. How do I handle the heartbreak and why cant I accept that he didnt love me and just forget about him?

Met a couple on a swingers site 15 years ago. Wife was a sub to dom hubby , she made quality collars, whips etc….I helped them with debt recovery and she gave me a set of hand made leather wrist / ankle restraints, collar & whip. I remember being embarrassed & thought I might offend them, by saying “I’m not in to that…” I ended up giving them to a sexy ebony tranny if she let me spank her, pull her panties down and give her a light flogging!!